Anya

Lolz

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 17:48:16 GMT

I started my first fest fic of this season way later than I should have. Consequently, editing it was like trying to decipher the Bayeux Tapestry with my nose pressed to the fabric, and it was an unnecessary ordeal I am thoroughly ashamed of myself for bringing about. So from now until the end of fest season, I am on a strict three hours a day policy. I will write or otherwise advance my remaining fics for at least three hours a day, although I can stop early if I want to and have written over 2000 words.

This is a good thing, because I can write with discipline perfectly well and ought to more often. But that's not what I come here to tell you today. Oh no. I come to tell you about the unintended side-effect of this regime.

Because I haven't allotted a specific time for my Three Hours, my days at the moment are filled with ever more elaborate ways to avoid them. This procrastination mostly involves me leaving long comments for poor accioslash on her awesome wrisomifu posts, and kicking out more than enough half-finished fic to qualify me for NaNoWriMo.

One such long comment involved Things I Won't Read. And I said, in a truly meandering way, that I will read stuff except for when I won't, and I have no ability to discern a pattern. What I like is easy, what I don't like is hard.

But I came up with mpreg. And it's true, mpreg squicks me. But then Accio said that it was her bulletproof kink, and I was in procrastinate mode, and a strange Fact of Me is that I hate to say 'never', so of course I immediately wrote an mpreg drabble. Did I say drabble? I don't think I am capable of a drabble. So for you, Accio:

The hospital room smelled of lavender and cleansing potions, and Severus didn't like the way the Mediwitch kept casting him suspicious glances.

"You're... panicking," panted Harry from the bed. He was flushed and fever-bright, hair wild and ridiculous, dark rings under his eyes from the lack of sleep.

"And you're not?"

Harry smiled a weak smile.

"Of course I am," he said. "Come here."

"Not likely," said Snape, folding his arms. "I need my fingers for work."

Harry scowled, then groaned, a familiar groan by now – which didn't make it any nicer to hear. Harry's fists bunched into the sheets. Snape's hands itched.

"Bloody...hell," he said. "This... is... not... fun. We're wizards! Why isn't this easy?"

"You can't meddle with the natural beauty of childbirth," said Snape sarcastically. "And to think, you almost wanted to go the completely natural route."

Harry had once told Hermione that he wanted a potion-free water birth. Hermione, tucking Rose under one arm, had wished him good luck and laughed him out of the room.

Severus was inclined to go the rational route and just cut the thing out of Harry, but apparently it was Just Not Done.

"Yes, I think I get Hermione's point. Can I have a potion now?"

"Not yet," interjected the Mediwitch, smoothing Harry's sheets. "It would interfere with the contractions."

"I want it to interfere with the contractions!" muttered Harry. Severus smirked to himself.

The Mediwitch bustled off, and the room was silent for a moment save for Harry's ridiculous breathing exercises. Snape stared at the smooth bulge of Harry's stomach, taut under his hospital gown, and swallowed.

"You don't want it, do you?" said Harry, very quietly.

Snape stared at him.

"I know this was always more about me than you, but you said – I mean –"

"Shut up, Potter," said Snape.

"You could have said if you weren't –"

"Isn't this all a little moot at this point?"

"Serverus –"

"Harry," said Snape softly. "It's –"

"It's what?"

"It's just – difficult to love something that's causing you this much pain."

"Oh," said Harry, and he looked soft and ridiculous and ill, and Severus didn't like it. "Ow. Oh, ow. Severus…"

Snape looked at him.

"Take my fucking hand."

Snape did.

Three hours later...

Severus reflected that it was a little-known fact that men were discouraged from child-bearing not because of the the obvious equipment issues, but because they are liable to actually break the hands of their partners. He rubbed his newly-repaired fingers, and scowled at nothing.

Harry was laughing. Severus wasn't at all fooled that it was at the miracle of childbirth. More like he was off his head on pain potion and ecstatic that it had finally stopped.

Severus had never felt fouler and more ill-tempered in his life.

The baby was mewling.

"If it's got my nose or your intellect, I'm drowning it in the lake," said Snape.

"How are you meant to know about its intellect?"

"We'll know soon enough. Then I drown it."

"Here we go," said the Mediwitch softly, politely ignoring their distinctly them conversation. "A beautiful baby boy!"

Severus blinked.

"Would daddy number two like to hold him?" she said, and before he could object he had a screeching bundle of fabric in his arms.

Snape panicked. He'd break it, he had no idea what to do with a child –

He looked down.

"Ah," he said.

"Ah?" said Harry urgently from the bed. "Ah? What does that mean? What's wrong with him?"

Severus looked up at Harry.

"Here," he said softly, and passed the child – his child – over to Harry.

"Oh," said Harry softly. "He's – my son. I have a son. We have a son."

He looked up at Severus. He nodded, once.

There was a quiet pause.

"I was really thinking in terms of girls names," said Harry. "But now I'm thinking Albus."

"Absolutely not," snapped Snape. "I would like our son to have a normal name, thank you very much."

"Hmm, normal…" said Harry. "Normal… like James?"

"Albus it is."

"Albus Severus," said Harry.

"I may throw up," said Snape. But he moved closer to Harry. He stared at little Albus, with his bright green eyes and shock of black hair, and a nose that did look suspiciously large. Even at this age, tiny and worm-like with flailing hands, his eyes seemed to sparkle.

"Albus Severus it is."

A writing question! OOooooh...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:28:54 GMT

Third person limited, Snape-POV:

Do you write 'Snape' or 'Severus'? Some mixture of the two? Or maybe Sevviekins? Do you not really care?

And why?

And if you don't write, what do you prefer to read? Snape, Severus, The Sevmeister, no preference?

A03 Wheee.

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:29:33 GMT

Just got my Archive of Our Own email. Am playing around and uploading fic right now. It seems to be working very well even on the CRAPPIEST CONNECTION EVER. I hope it becomes popular.

Having warnings issues, as per some tags and warnings discussions I have seen, but I never really know what to warn for anyway. Maybe if it repeatedly stresses me out I will blanket warn everything and write explanations in the author notes. I mean, I'll always label explicit stuff: after that, caveat lector. Or something. (I will probably never actually take the caveat lector approach.)

So who's on it already?

ETA: Ha, timing! I write an entry and it goes down for maintenance.

Blah.

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:54:56 GMT

Feminax: fast, effective relief from period pain.

WTF? I am beginning to LOATHE the fem- prefix. Because Feminax? Is ibuprofen. And I'm going to keep buying my ibuprofen in packets that cost 16p. WE DO NOT NEED SPECIAL LADY-IBUPROFEN! Seriously. That's not a niche! It's just crass. Grass consumerism, as Adam would say. (Why yes, I am digging Good Omens right now!)

SHORT SHORT ENTRY

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:36:58 GMT

Oh boy. I HATE Doctor Who. I don't have time for this. So I'm exorcising all Who!squee right now.

Slow to start and the horror element was completely underwhelming, although I'm sure it scared the kiddywinks. But then as it progressed I loved the notion that everybody was going to die - in true zombie horror style – and then when they DIDN'T and the Doctor's going all IAMAGOD I was like ahahaha awesome. Then his going properly evil for a bit at the end... let's just say, possibly the only way to make me fancy the Doctor MORE is to introduce some moral ambiguity. LETS CORRUPT THAT SHIT! Ahahaha. <3 AND SOMEONE SHOT THEMSELVES ON DOCTOR WHO! WTF GUYS? Love it, I really do. Methinks RTD picked up on that being hands-down the best bit of CoE. (Oh, alright, IMHO.)

And obviously, I'm pretty squeeful about the trailer, but it's nothing I wasn't expecting.

Oh, and I am not sure if I dig the fact that they homaged one of my favourite shots from 28 Days Later. Kind of brings comparisons to mind that Doctor Who just cannot do. But I probably would have done it.

</squee>

On "People of Colour" and being literal.

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 22:01:36 GMT

"People of colour" is a phrase that is new to me. Partly because it's American, partly because we were all about class and gender in our all-white all-female mostly lower-middle-class Sociology lessons, and partly because race discussion is much more unusual in the UK media and generally revolves around 'ethnic minorities' and how they are stealing all our jobs. Or else how much everybody hates the BNP, except for the lunatics who vote for them in numbers that, while relatively small compared to how many people vote for horrifyingly racist American political figures, are still big enough to depress and/or alarm.

Is it wrong that I think it is an inherently silly phrase? Not in its aims and it's history and its inclusiveness and its usefulness in race meta, but because every single time I see it I get a vivid mental picture of a bunch of people in rainbow colours, followed by the notion that I must therefore be monochrome. This is childish, possibly, but the amusement of taking a euphemism literally always strikes you more when you hear a phrase the first few times. This 'amusing when taken literally' effect has lasted a bit longer with this particular phrase, though, because it makes me double-take every time; it's so eye-catchingly close to "coloured people," which I was always taught was a phrase used by the inbred farmers who'd never left Devon and whose experience of black and white extended to sheep, cows and that one family in town who run the Indian.

I'm not going anywhere with this, btw. It's not like I have had an inspirational thought about a phrase which covers what people mean by 'people of colour' without any ridiculous euphemisms regarding the literal colours of the people concerned. I don't like the phrase, but that's mostly because I don't like the fact that there has to be a phrase meaning 'people who are not or do not appear to be of European descent and who consequently experience a negative bias in America and other cultures that historically and currently favour those who appear to be of European descent.' (That's my Hitchhiker's Guide style definition, which does at least serve to highlight the complete ridiculousness of racism, even if it is a bit wordy.) But there does have to be a phrase like that in order to make race meta readable (not to mention writable), and we need race meta so that we might eventually reach a point where classifying people by race is regarded as almost completely useless in a sociological context because it has no relevance to anything. But we are soo not there.

Of course, if anyone does have a nice concise scientific phrase, without visible-light-spectrum inaccuracy and free from negative connotation, for use in sociological and meta contexts, I would be delighted to hear it. I'd much rather not laugh in the middle of Serious Business.

CUTE OVERLOAD

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 12:24:24 GMT

I am discovering that it is virtually impossible to write with kittens in the room.

Semi-Regular Film Review II

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:23:49 GMT

I'm not sure if this really counts as a review... but yeah... Up made me cry in the first fifteen minutes or so. It was utterly lovely. Worth going to see. And Pixar films in 3D are awesome and immersive (and bloody expensive on a Friday night!).

And yeah, I know it's been out in America for yonks. Argh.

In other news... I have a delicious Philidelphia and chicken sandwich, a hot vanilla chai with extra spice, extra vanilla syrup and extra Drambuie, and I am settling in to do a night of Serious Writing. The sandwich is so I have no justification to get up for snacks, the chai is to feel snuggly, the alcohol is for dutch courage, and the resulting textual mess is for rewrites.

This entry is for a short(*ahem*) burst of controlled procrastination. See you in the morning!

Semi-Regular Film Review

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 16:29:43 GMT

So, With Lukey being studented up and with us living five minutes from the cinema, we are getting back into the extremely awesome routine of going to see a flim roughly once a week. The other day we watched Toy Story in 3D, which was awesome even though they've changed the script or something since I last watched it when I was like, ten... so many things I missed! Wow, I feel old.

Anyway, since I watch more films than I understand to be the average, I thought I should review some, in a very informal fashion.

Zombieland:

I didn't know anything more than the trailer, and from that I thought it was going to be cheesily self-aware, not especially clever, possibly dodgy in the acting stakes and hopefully a bit of brainless fun.

It was actually a hell of a lot better than that. I would say me and Luke could not be more the target audience: nerdy 20-somethings who know what World of Warcraft is and love comedy and like zombies and stupid gore and love Bill Murray. But it's not actually stupid. It's actually... really good. Good good. Awesome good. The bits that make you laugh are meant to, the bits that make you sad are meant to too, until they sock you with a one-liner. The script is actually sharp and smart the characters are great and it's just fun. Nothing in the film is taken too seriously, and yet all the right bits are. The acting is competent. The section of the film before the finale... is epic. And Tallahassee is a fantastic character. Basically, it's great! If you have seen a poster or a trailer and think it seems like it might be your thing... then go. I am still grinning.

Coming soon: Up, Sherlock Holmes, Avatar, The Men Who Stare At Goats (BEST CAST EVER YES PLEASE), and possibly Cirque du Freak. Also, anything else I see a decent trailer for.

And btw, the answers to my Fannish Top Five questions (ask more if you like and I'll keep doing it):

From spidermoth: What are your fav top five pithy/snarky comments Snape has made to Harry, or vice-versa, in fanfic you've read?

Hard one! There are so many fics with Snape and Harry's brilliant dialogue. I love it when Snape makes perfect sarky one-liners. I am struggling to think of any specific examples, so I will go out and re-read some fic and come back to this when I come across some good lines.

From dementordelta: Top 5 fan fiction tropes--any fandom!

I know I am forgetting some... all Snarry: DETENTION <3, guilty!Snape, Snape being unable to resist his wicked temptations, Occlumency lessons, and potions made me do it.

Memetime

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 20:52:12 GMT

dementordelta just posted her answers top fives, and it was awesome, so I just had to gank the meme myself:

Ask me my fannish Top Five. Any top fives. Doesn't matter what, really! And I will answer them all in a new post.

Erk

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 11:34:00 GMT

Apologies to anyone who visited my journal yesterday evening and found it in a peculiar shape. I've stopped fiddling now I finally have a consistent(ish) theme across all my journals.

Oh God, is this what unemployment means?

ETA: Apparently I have a Torchwood mood theme! or at least the start of one. Not particularly sophisticated and all from series 1... I'd forgotten about them but the images are all available on photobucket if anyone wants them. Please, use and abuse as you see fit: http://s14.photobucket.com/albums/a343/dominicmx5/mood%20theme/

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 11:32:42 GMT

<procrastinate>

SNARRY HOLIDAYS

125 / 10000 words. 1% done!

HP YULE BALLS

0 / 10000 words. 0% done!

SNARRY SWAP

0 / 10000 words. 0% done!

Check it! I started one of three fest fics. (The sign-ups are still open on snarry_swap so this is acceptable progress.) Now I am not going to look at my wordcount again for at least two weeks. *lieslieslies*

I've realised that I am very dependent on weather. I think a lot about the weather, or at least the quality of the light, in order to get my brain into description mode. It's my scene-setting, my plot device, a reflection of a character's mood and an influence. In my precious first 125 words, it is sticking two fingers up at the characters. Am I unbearably clichéd?

</procrastinate>

Go and read The Arundel Tomb

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 22:34:52 GMT

LOOK. IT IS LIKE HAVING MAYA FANFIC AGAIN. ONLY IT IS FANFIC OF HER VERY OWN BOOK! ONLY OF COURSE THAT MAKES IT CANON. I AM SO CONFUSED BUT ALSO VERY HAPPY. (but you don't really need to read The Demon's Lexicon. Though you should think about it.)

*cough*

I love this story in myriad ways. I love Marie and I love Olivia and I love their relationship and I love the depth of the characters and the empathy and feeling it inspires in such a short amount of time. I especially love Olivia, who is a little bit villainy and a little bit sad and tres mysterious in TDL but is really only made real and deep for me with this story. It strangely reminds me of a Jacqueline Wilson book I read recently, because Jacqueline Wilson is the only other author I have read in recent times who conjured up the same feeling of I have met these people, these are people I went to school with, I am identifying like mad right now. I have met the intimidatingly beautiful girl, and I've liked her despite having reason not to, and I know that boy who's magnetic and mesmeric but unattainable and that's sort of alright. Only, of course, there is magic, and a Darker Context if you've read The Demon's Lexicon, and it's so much what is cool about urban fantasy.

I heart it to little pieces.

And now, I am off to the land of no internets and much sambuca. I will be back in four days. Hopefully with time to sign up for the Snarry_LDWS but my schedule will thank me if it turns out I can't. Night all!

Guh

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 01:30:32 GMT

Just watched a midnight showing of District 9, which we have only just got here in the UK. Now for my review:

*incoherent gibbering*

That is all.

Why yes, I am watching the shitstorm.

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 13:46:50 GMT

Oh, okay, I was just going to watch, I think everyone seems to have it covered, but I have to mention it, I really do, because the comments on this survey thing have been filling me with joy, squee, lol and hellz-yeah for a while now.

Guys, I LOVE YOU. Fandom kicks so much arse it's untrue.

Of course, now I am going to retire from the internet until it is all done, because I have A LOT OF WRITING TO DO.

<3

Heheheh...

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 21:24:36 GMT

This season of True Blood is getting like crack. Not in that it's addictive, but that it's LIKE THE CRACKIEST CRACK FIC EVER. High-quality, A-grade crack, but crack. It's... I think it's brilliant. And the queen ships Bill/Eric! Of course, I ship Eric/Anyone, but Eric/Bill is just so much fun it's untrue.

In other news, THE WORLD IS ENDING. I am getting a server error on gmail. I assume this is not just me. WHAT DO WE DOOOOOO? ARMAGEDDON!

In other, very old news, South Park is really very gross. But also GENIUS.

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 13:51:19 GMT

banner by angelfireeast, from art by froggie and gredandfeorge

snarry_swap: Fireworks of Snarry

Sign-ups: August 31 - September 18

I am... not quite so sure I can do this one. Three seems like asking for trouble. But high pressure + short deadlines = prolific!Anya. And my current stressful but not actually very busy RL is like, the anti-muse, I'm going slowly mad not being able to write anything. Give me lots of somethings to do!

swoon

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:01:49 GMT

Famous people I have seen this week: 1!
Famous person's name: PHILIP BLOODY GLENISTER!

Yes. Philip Glenister was sat behind me in my local café for a whole hour and I didn't see him until he got up to leave. Much OMG and SQUEE was had. Sadly, no autographs or conversations, because, well, for a start he was on holiday with his (really adorable) kids, and also it would have involved me emerging from my quivering position at my table and charging my way through a tiny cafe while he was trying to pay.

He's hotter IRL.

On a less squee-inducing note, snarry_holidays sign-ups have been extended for a couple more days. Hoorah for anyone who missed it! Go sign up!

I must say, I'm surprised though. Where is everyone? It's such an awesome fest and you get a present at the end of it!

Oh, and I am addicted to making t-shirts.

Yes, more pimpin' banners

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:09:51 GMT

Proooobably going to sign up for this too. Not exactly pro at drabbles, but I think it's a craft it couldn't hurt to hone. Also fun. Yay!

Snarry LDWS

I really, really love fests. Possibly to an unhealthy degree.

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 16:46:47 GMT

Hmmm.

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 12:58:50 GMT

So, in October I am probably going to go to The Hub 3, and while I was browsing the site and trying to justify the price of train and hotel to myself, I came across an ad for Muggle Mayhem. Is this exciting or meh? Has anyone heard of it? Is it going to be all younguns and movie fans? It's cheap and charity, so tempting anyway, but of course once you factor in the hotel and travel from Devon it's a bit less worth it. Also, I spend absolutely no time on Mugglenet... so hmmm. Anyone know anyone who's going?

Edit: so like, I assumed Muggle Mayhem was 2010... but lolno. They just haven't taken the ads down. Ah well. DEFINITELY doing the Hub then. Exciting!

AIIIIIIHHHHHHHH!

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 10:32:48 GMT

I have never been more excited in my life. Okay, slight lie, I get squee-level excited all the time, but I am very very excited at this moment, because Muse are playing their new album in the Teignmouth, the town of their childhood, which just happens to be a different point on the same sunny Devon coastline as my (decidedly similar) home town.

And I have tickets.

I AM SO SO HAPPY.

RSI

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 01:15:24 GMT

Curses! Memed again!

My Favourite Author, and why I am especially happy to call her so.

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 20:51:45 GMT

When Sarah Rees Brennan's book, The Demon's Lexicon, came out, I was terribly, secretly, guiltily concerned that I would not love it in the same way I loved her HP stuff. That the writing would be great was obvious, but I have a relationship with the HP universe that I simply haven't formed with anything else, and I was afraid that not having that assumption of shared knowledge and appreciation at the start would make it far more difficult to... bond with the book, I guess. Which is actually quite rational, but made me feel bad, because I think she's a brilliant writer and a lovely person and I think she greatly deserves heaps and heaps of success and adoration.

Turned out I was right about struggling to like the book as much as I wanted to. There was all the weight of hype and expectation (mostly self-generated), and the strange position of reading the "first" book of someone whose writing has been in my heart and soul, not to mention my own writing style, for what feels like a very long time, and so I'm still not sure what I feel about it. It was a great book, and a fascinating universe, but I'm not sure I would say I love it. Nor would I say I didn't love it. It's complicated, baby.

But I can say, with overwhelming confidence, that I LOVE THIS STORY. Ohhh, I love it to tiny little pieces. The second part has just gone up, and the whole story is lyrical and emotional and beautiful and dark and oooh, shiver-inducing in parts. I'm overwhelmed with love for the POV character, as well as all the glimpses of the characters we already know, and while I think everyone should buy the Demon's Lexicon anyway I especially think you should because then you can read this story. I don't know if it's because I wasn't anticipating it in the same way, because the groundwork of the universe is done (though I think there's plenty more to see, in the story and beyond, and I'm excited for it now) or the lack of editor (because the book seemed to have far fewer of the markers of SRB's structural style, and I don't think that's a good thing) but I'm truly in love with this story, and the world with it. So... go buy the book, and then go read it!

I am slow on the uptake...

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:35:53 GMT

HOLY CRAP IS DREAMWIDTH LIKE, THE AWESOMEST?

Importing... automatic cross-posting to LJ and IJ... pretty... ideologically sound... okay, I am writing everything on Dreamwidth now. <3